R.I.P.

I've been having trouble sleeping well recently. My sleep is full of dreams which I can vaguely remember when I wake up, but yet I feel so tired after that. Maybe I've been sleep-deprived for two years that now when I get to sleep 8 to 9 hours, my body just cannot accept that? Sleep is really a disease. But I think it is in my genes. Or my habits.

Even though most of my previous posts since 2002 have been deleted, I can remember what I typed in those entries, and I cringe each time I recall myself typing into this box what I did for the day, what I want to buy, what I want to do etc etc. It is just so.... I dunno. Like who the hell is interested in your boring life right, when everyone else is probably doing the same.

But blogs are interesting to read, as a whole. It helps you to understand people a little better, both on the macro and micro side of things. From reading blogs, I have learnt a few things.

First, is that people crave attention. It's the truth. It is a well-publicised fact that blogs are NOT diaries, so people who say that their blogs are 'private' are in actual fact living in denial. There is no place more public than the WWW. Everyone wants attention, but not everyone seeks it openly, and not everyone wants attention for fame or popularity. It is just a basic human need to be noticed, to be heard, to be cherished, to be respected.

Secondly, everyone of us has some creative ability. Though in primary and secondary school, I dunno about JC, we complain about having to write compositions or essays, everyone loves to write a good piece. There is like some inner author or journalist in us. It is our way of painting a picture of the world through our eyes. Everyone has their own opinion on the same topic. Of course, topics with three capital letters seem to be the most popular ones in this part of Southeast Asia. PAP, ERP, GST, CPF, HDB and of course for me, SAF.

Next, I think most people type lots of stuff only to not publish them eventually. Maybe they type posts in anger, in bitterness, and after cooling down realised that their posts are too strongly worded. Or some just type and type and in the end just lose interest in it. Just like me now. I'm suffering from the after effects of yet another night of disturbed sleep, looking at the screen with bloodshot eyes and gigantic eyebags, typing on my pretty little MacBook with fingers with overgrown nails, and suddenly I feel like crawling back in bed and staying there.

I need a good sleep. Is there something called sleep therapy? Or maybe I just need my army bunk. Maybe my room is too clean with no flies and mosquitoes flying around. But I dun think so. My bunk in camp is air-conditioned. No flies or mosquitoes. Damn, why can't I just REST IN PEACE???!!!