On The Verge

Ever since returning to Hendon Camp upon the completion of my GPMG Commander Course at Pasir Laba Camp, things hasn't been as rosy. Firstly, I am on long-term medical status, which means I can't participate in most activities in camp. Secondly, the next few months is the most busy period for commandos and yet here I am doing nothing everyday.

My peers are slogging it out in the field and I am in the comfort of my bed in my air-con bunk - yes you read correctly, my commando bunk has TWO air-cons - and I am travelling weekly to Selarang Physiotheraphy Centre and Tan Tock Seng Hospital. The sucky part is of course this being a weekly affair, I am in and out of camp at certain points of the day. People see they of course buay song, they feel why they are suffering and here I am booking out.

That one I still can accept because if it was me looking on at someone else in my predicament, I would probably stir his shit as well. But now, the company HQ are having doubts about the authencity of my medical appointments and physio session. This is simply outrageous. My f***ing CSM demands to see my appointment card everytime now and just now, I buay tahan and I really gave him a piece of my mind.

Ya talking back to your sergeant major is not the best thing to do, especially when there are a lot of problems now with the guard duty roster. But being a sergeant of the company, the least he can do is trust me. No basic trust, no mutual respect. And how am I suppose to continue in this unit if my superiors doesn't have confidence in me?

I have no doubt about my ability as a soldier, and with adequate training, I can be as fit as anyone else once again. The thing is, am I still given a chance to carry on with my rehabilitation without hindrance so as to ensure a speedy and full recovery as soon as possible so I can join back and contribute?

Don't believe all that bullshit about commandos are a tightly-bounded fratenity. Balls. They are your brothers as long as you are fit and healthy. The moment you fall down, they can't wait to see the back of you. I have seen too many people already being cut and having their red berets revoked. My OC even told me he can't keep me in the company for too long if I can't contribute because I am eating into the budget.

Wtf right. Just because I can't contribute physically for the next couple of months, all my hard work for the past 1 and a half years are being threatened to be erased from the memory of Bravo Coy 07/06, 2nd Coy 07/08. Incredulous, so those boys out there who think that joining commando for ur NS is gonna be fun, think again.

For Honour & Glory? My a**.