HBK Travels The World

Shag Ah!

2010-01-21T22:48:00.002+08:00

Who knew sitting down and listening to a trainer talk the whole day can be this tiring? Am enjoying my first week at my new job though. When you are surrounded by some of the prettiest girls in the nation, it's hard not to like the job.

More updates during the weekend. Time to hit the deck.

You've Got Mail!

2010-01-09T19:15:00.008+08:00

Email reply from my dear friend Matt. :p

Dear Bryan,

Happy New Year! Just came back from Cardiff, Wales this evening. Thanks for the new year's greetings it is so good to hear from you.
Attached are some photos of my latest interest. Cooking! I do most of the cooking for myself now. It's cheaper and I thought would be a good skill to have.
Everything you see is real no CGI involved. Got some recipes online and whala!

The temperature has been dropping further these few days. My friends tell me it has never dropped to these levels since 1963. It's -7 degrees outside now. Honestly anything below 2 degrees feels exactly the same to me. Just cold. I got really excited the first day it started snowing. It's me first lah so jumped right in and started a snow fight with some of my friends. One Chinese, one Korean, one Hong Konger. There was this group of Ang Mos walking past and they were giving us strange looks as they walked by. But I just knew they looked suspicious. Then suddenly they turned around and lobbed 2 balls at me. But revenge was sweet.

Hey thanks for sharing about your new course. You have started training already I guess? The only thought I have now is that you try to make time for the exams. Not just to attend the papers but to work hard for them. The degree may come in handy even for future career prospects within _____. ____ is currently with ____, maybe you could call her up. Wendy should still have her contact number. Think the number I got is outdated. Do keep me updated about your experience in ______.

Take care dude!

warmest wishes,
Matthew

Matthew Lim fanclub members, you know what to do. Go brush up on your culinary skills and pay Snow City a visit. :)

This Space Has Been Revived!

2009-12-28T19:18:00.008+08:00

If the world wide web had digital dust, I am very sure that my blog will be covered in them. It has been almost half a year since my last entry. Yeah, I got lazy to blog about my adventures in Europe, as you can see. LOL. But you can always view the photos on my Facebook. :p

The reason why I am reviving this blog is because I realise that as I grow older, my memory seems to be failing me. I need to keep a record of things I do, I said, I felt, I experienced etc. before I forget them all one day.

Another reason is that I have finally quit Citibank! :) I was so sick of a boring desk-bound job and the opportunity arose for me to join a fantastic company in a very unconventional position. My mum flipped when I told her, and it took a lot of convincing, assurances and promises before she reluctantly agreed. "Two years", she said, will be the maximum time I will spend in my new job.

I have heard horror stories about how the first few months as a new hire is hell, but hey, what's the most they can do to me?

*Dons red beret on head and suddenly feels invincible*

LOL. But now I have to serve my notice, and I really just can't wait to leave, another three more weeks!

It's still the Christmas season (12 days, remember?), and I am thinking of getting myself a nice present. I saw this Mont Blanc passport holder that costs $200, and I know I will surely be using it almost as often as my wallet. I really don't like deliberating about making major purchases. I know I do spend quite a bit, but it is mostly on FMCG or services like taxis and petrol. My last major purchase was my iPhone 3G, and that was August 2008!

Okay, I shall discipline myself to post regularly here from now on. I'm sure the coming months will be fun, not to mention the upcoming New Year's Eve countdown.

Happy Holidays! :)

Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince World Premiere

2009-07-12T03:25:00.005+08:00

So the second day of school was my first day of class, which in SG terms is tutorial. My class is at 10-11am everyday, and lectures from 2pm to 5pm. The class is conducted by an ex-hedge fund manager, and he crunch numbers and formulas on excel so fast no one can really catch what he is doing.

He reads the question, types some stuff and in two seconds a percentage or number appears. After one week, I'm still like, huh? Anyway, after school, we wanted to explore London in the evening a bit. It started pouring cats & dogs as we left school, and the tube station, Holborn, was so jammed-pack with people seeking shelter that the station staff started shouting at everyone not taking the tube to get out.

We were deciding between Covent Garden and Leceister Square (again), and since Covent Garden is mostly open air, we decided to take the underground to Leceister Square and maybe catch a play or musical.

When we arrived there, we were just aimlessly walking around, looking at the half-priced tickets on offer, but decided against watching any as it would end quite late and everyone has studying or homework to do. What happened next totally blew us away.

There was this huge, huge crowd of people gathering outside the Odeon (or was it the Empire) Theatre, and a makeshift overhead bridge from the centre of the square to the cinema entrance. Everywhere was drabbed in Griffyndor colours and Harry Potter posters. We spotted the words 'World Premiere' and just couldn't believe our luck.

There were interviews conducted live which was beamed on two giant LCD screens, and each time a star walked over the bridge to the theatre the crowd just started screaming. Crazy English girls.

Ron Weasley seemed to be the most popular cast member, getting the largest screams. Dunno is it he recently recovered from H1N1 and the girls were especially sympathetic, or because he was caught scratching his backside and revealed the pink boxers he was wearing.

Pictures time. :p

The evil Slytherin is actually a crowd favourite, and he took the time to paused and pose for the cameras

No idea who is this.. Luna Lovegood??

Professor Severus Snape!

Crowded it was, but very orderly and no pushing or smelly armpits in yer face

Fan favourite Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley

Harry Potter!!!

Every guy's favourite...

Emma Watson!!

Blowing kisses to the crowd

Photos credit Yang Ge with his powerpack Nikon DSLR! :)

Harry Potter opens 15 July!!!

First Day Of School at the LSE

2009-07-10T06:02:00.012+08:00

The world renown London School of Economics & Political Science. For three weeks, I get to be a full-fledged student, swipe card access to every building of this esteemed institution, my own library account, my own LSE email address, and a chance to sample a truly world-class education.

I am not a full-time LSE student for obvious reasons. One, I am not smart enough to get in. People here seemingly possess a more powerful processor chip in their brain. Secondly, London is so damn blardy expensive! More on that in a bit.

So, my first day of school was really good. I have made some new friends from the world over who stay in the same hostel. And peer pressure even amongst new friends is quite a powerful tool. I wanted to take the bus to school everyday but this group INSIST on walking. It is a 25 minutes walk everyday, but given the excellent summer weather, sun shining and cool temperature of approx 15 celsius, it is not bad.

We had to attend a welcome session by the Director of the LSE, Sir Howard Davies at the Peacock Theatre, and following his 2 minute address of the summer school students, there were some other professors who briefed us and the usual do's and dont's, what is expected of us, how to behave bla bla bla.

The welcome session ended around 10.30am, and my class are from 2pm to 5pm everyday! With so much time to spare, and with no material to study, given I haven't gone to class yet, I decided to just explore High Holborn. I walked to and from the Holborn underground station at least 3 times, just looking for a 3 Network SIM card.

The UK has 6 major telcos, and 3 Network specializes in 3G technology. They offer free 3-to-3 calls, and if your phone is a smart phone, you can make free Skype calls using their 3G network as well! I finally managed to buy two SIM cards, and since Skype also had a promotion that offered free calls to Singapore mobile phones and land lines for July, as long as I am in a wireless zone, i.e. school or hostel, I make free calls back home!

I am now an expert in overseas phone calls, given my disaster in Brunei haha. It started pouring really heavily and I cursed myself for not bringing my Gortex or an umbrella with me. The weather here can be really unpredictable.

The first lesson was very interesting. My lecturer is Greek, and he is really humourous.

http://www.lse.ac.uk/collections/finance/people/profiles/KostasZachariadis.htm

Basically, I am doing an advanced undergraduate level course in alternative investments. As the name suggests, it refers to alternative assets that not many people are familiar with e.g. hedge funds, private equities, commodities, managed futures, art, some real estate, and more exotic investments like football clubs. Pretty interesting topic, but we have a one hour morning tutorial everyday where we crunch numbers on Excel.

I really regret not paying more attention during my ICT class in poly. It was so useful, now I struggle to do regression, find covariance, R-squared and all these terms which still sound so foreign to me!

My textbook cost £60, which times 2.4, is roughly S$150. I actually shared the cost with another girl from Singapore, Jasmine, but she just informed me this morning that she cannot take it and has changed course. Now I owe her 30 quid.

After school, me, Jasmine (SG), her bf Tommy (SG), Aisyah (SG), Chen Ye (USA), Tim (China), Xinxin (UK), and Michael (USA) went in search of food. We just walked aimlessly and ended up at the National Gallery and in front of it, Trafalgar Square. After some photo taking, we walked up further to Leicester Square, home to some of the most famous theatres in the West End, and Chinatown.

It took us one hour to decide on a restaurant to eat, going to every individual restaurant to check the menu and price. When we finished eating, the sky was still bright but it was 9pm!

So the first day of school was interesting, the school library, the British Library of Political and Economic Science, is second to none. 1000 PCs available for use, nice Victorian-style exterior, very modern interior. I am enjoying every bit of my time here in London. After 1 year in SIM, I know 0 new persons. In 2 days here, I have shaked no less than 50 hands and EVERYONE was friendly.

Pictures for now, next post will be on the world premiere of Harry Potter!

The New Academic Building, opened by HM Queen Elizabeth II last year. Kingsway entrance

NAB main entrance

16th century building still standing in the middle of the LSE campus

The Old Curiosity Shop is a novel written by Charles Dickens

Trafalgar Square

The National Gallery

National Portrait Gallery

Very Chinese group, one ang moh only haha

(L-R)Tommy, Jasmine, Aisyah, Xinxin, Tim, Chen Ye, Michael

Londontown

2009-07-06T06:39:00.015+08:00

I'm in London!!! I have been here for almost 18 hours and I have not spotted even ONE air-con here. The reason is, there is natural air con. I took the Heathrow Connect express train from the airport (by mistake and ended up £7.40 poorer) to Paddington station. Was too kan chiong on finding my way to my accommodation that I did not took out my camera to snap a picture. Paddington station is such a marvelous and grand old railway station.

I realized it is only when you go overseas that you appreciate what you have at home. In SG, the trains operate rain or shine 24/7, any maintenance work is carried out in the wee hours. In London, most maintenance works are carried out on the weekends, and they have no qualms about shutting down stations or even entire lines.

I had to make a big detour to navigate around the London Underground to get to my accommodation. It was quite a distance to walk, but with the air so fresh and temperatures at 11 degrees C, it was enjoyable just taking in the sights and sound.

I met two Hong Kong undergrads at the reception, Michelle and another guy whose name I cannot (or can't be bothered) to remember. The moment I got my room, I unpacked my stuff and hit the deck immediately. I was almost late for my orientation in school. Now the LSE has hostels all over central London, and my hall, Rosebery Ave, was in the district of Islington, an area well known for the Sadler Wells theatre and nice restaurants and bars.

I was waiting for a bus when I saw this very blur looking Chinese girl, Chen Ye (who is actually Chinese-American from Boston, Massachusetts) who approached me and asked me how to get to LSE. I told her I was going there too and we promptly took the wrong bus together. Thanks to my exceptional urban 'topo' skills, we arrived at LSE just about on time.

Again I was too busy looking for the correct queue that I did not snap a nice picture of the famed LSE logo. But I'll have 3 weeks to do that , no problem. After collecting my LSE student ID, I went for a short tour around the school. Cobbled streets, central location in London, dream school!

I was randomly snapping pictures of the campus when I bumped into Chen Ye and another new found friend, Laura from Barcelona who moved to Madrid six months ago (the things you find out about new friends haha). We were all famished, and wanted lunch badly. We anyhow anyhow walked, and stumbled across the famous Theatreland and Covent Garden!

Lunch was an overpriced pasta for £10 after tips where I counted approximately 20 penne pasta on my plate. Really expensive place. After lunch, we walked around Covent Garden market, bypassed the London Transport Museum, visited St Paul's Church, and finally Laura went back to hall first to find (unsuccessful) for an international adaptor. Good thing SG and London same plug, don't need adaptor.

There was a welcome reception at the hall in the evening, but the food and drinks ran out very fast. In the end, a big group of us new friends went out and explore Islington in search of food. We only had dinner at 10pm, and the sky was still bright!!

Will talk about my first day of school in LSE in the next post. London is awesome! :)

Blardy heavy backpack. I regretted not bringing a trolley bag..

Portugal Street, buildings surrounding it are part of the LSE

Covent Garden on a sunday

Theatreland, next to Covent Garden

Large crowd gathering around a street performer, lots of them in Covent Garden

One of King Arthur's knight

Plastic bottle man

Erm... I dunno what is this haha

St Paul's Church

Not Singapore Flyer la, the London Eye

Beautiful London summer sky

I was awestruck when after taking picture with the London Eye, I turned around and saw this...

Big Ben!!!

The Houses of Parliament

Updates real soon!!! :p

2009-05-17T19:52:00.009+08:00

Most of my friends have finished their exams, but for me, it's another two weeks to go, with two more modules. First and foremost, congrats to the class of 2009 who have graduated from university. I know Timmy has secured a job as a pricing analyst with ExxonMobil, so if you guys realise that the price of petrol is going up, remember to give him a ring haha.

So far, the two exam papers that I have sat for went pretty well, definitely not A grade, but hopefully enough to add as a qualifying module for second upper tabulation. Despite my paper this coming thursday, I still managed to squeeze in two hours of football today, which means I must mug extra hard over the next three days.

I am very grateful that ever since I ORDed, I have been blessed in many ways. First, I managed to get a job within two weeks of completing my NS, and then when I failed my bridging course and needed time off to study, the bank converted me to part time. Now, I have the whole month of May off for my exams, and because I will be going to London in July till mid-August, I tendered my resignation.

My manager rejected it and told me to reconsider. I inform her of my dilemma: I do want to carry on working, but it is seemingly impossible to take one and a half months of work, what with me exhausting all my annual leave for my exams. Obviously no company in their right mind would just let a staff go off for so long unless they just gave birth.

Despite the obvious difficulty, I pushed on and pressed the senior managers on this particular issue. During that time, HR also gave me a new contract to sign, this time as a permanent staff. Because of the trouble on the US side, there is no pay raise this year, but I will get a lot more fringe benefits. So I signed and somehow, miraculously, the director approved my application for unpaid leave for one and a half months.

So, even before I have graduated, I have secured a job, and though it is not my ideal department, I am able to request for a lateral transfer given that I have served two years. I am really, really thankful. And I know this is not just mere coincidence or pure luck, if not I will be buying 4D and striking it rich already.

How do I know that it is due to "divine intervention"? Well, for starters, everyday when I travel to work, I need to work through CitiLink and bypass the HMV store. On two separate occasions, as I walked past the store, it started playing 'Shout to the Lord'. The first time, I brushed it off as pure coincidence, but the second time it happened, it was probably two to three months after the first and the same thing happened.

And recently, as I walked towards the MRT station after work, the HMV store was playing "The Heart of Worship". Well, I could choose to categorise these incidents as nothing more than 'the store just so happen to play such songs', but I do believe that that isn't the case. I know it is pretty ironic for me to be saying such stuff, given that I am not regularly attending church nowadays.

But hey, going to church doesn't make anyone more holy and spiritual than one who doesn't, though the benefits of fellowship and guidance from attending church is obvious. I don't want to be a hypocrite, by encouraging people to keep the faith and continue going to church when I myself don't, and the truth is I stopped attending a while ago because it became a routine and I went for the company of friends more than anything else.

It has been ten and a half years since I first set foot into 64 Tanjong Katong Road, and I know if during those formative teenage years without the guidance and love from the people inside that former maternity clinic, I could have become a really bad person. I heard there is a special performance in the first two weeks of June for Saturday @ 5, but I have not received any invitation!

Okay, I know many people usually set up walls to see if others care enough to break them down. I do not need such patronage nor do I need an invitation. Charis still is my home, and I do try to keep abreast with the developments (thank you Facebook) from time to time and thus I do not need a red carpet to welcome me or people fretting over me as I walk through those hallowed (and seriously in need of repair) gates of 64 Tanjong Katong Rd. I am just, erm, inactive for now, but definitely not a newcomer nor outsider.

Okay now, people shouldn't take themselves too seriously and learn to unwind a little. That is exactly what I am going to do come July, so if you guys/gals want anything from the UK, France or Spain, please just drop me a message. I will be visiting some of football's most famous grounds (think Emirates, Stamford Bridge, Old Trafford, Anfield!!!) and hopefully catch Liverpool live in action in the season opener of the new EPL.

I have been studying in various public libraries the past few weeks and I am going to write an entry on them, it should be useful information for serious students who want to study and not chit-chat with their equally annoying peers. I realised that studying in Starbucks or McDonald's is just a lame excuse to meet up with friends, in the end nothing goes into the head.

Have a great week ahead, all the best to those taking Module 92 Corporate Finance this thursday! And Ethel, I read you are invigilating for UOL at Expo. Well, if you still are, be nice and say hi. And give me more time to write after 'pens down'. Haha :p

P.S: A rare photo of skinny Tim and skinny Sam! Got chiseled jawline!!! :)

Still Alive

2009-04-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

Exams.

Walking On Sunshine

2009-02-24T04:33:00.016+08:00

Birthday breakfast with darling

Perfect setting for an intimate valentine birthday

Commando ironman turned credit card officer

Citibank senior mgt group drops in to Operations..

To serve ice cream! This is the man whose signature grace all welcome letters to new Citibank cardholders - big boss of consumer banking Anil

Long...

long queue for ice cream and goodies

Attending a sunset wedding..

At Chalk @ Old School on Mount Sophia

Owned by the Porsche driving, multiple Ya Kun outlet owner, CEO of mainboard listed semiconductor firm bridegroom..

Sweets for my sweet :p

P.S: 30th May 2009. Midnight. Changi Village. 42.195km. 4 hours. adidas Sundown Marathon. Easy run. ..?!!

What A Feeling

2009-02-11T03:29:00.004+08:00

It has been one of the best Tuesdays I have had in recent weeks. The day started off with me waking up just in time to get dressed and hop on the train to reach work just in time before the manager started to ask "where's Bryan", but I had to work the whole afternoon on an empty stomach.

The first hour at work was a frenzy, running to and fro from my desk to the admin department to sort out a few customers' demanding requests, all the while with my stomach groaning and pleading to be filled with food. After clocking my five hours, I packed my stuff and made a few calls to my mates who would be meeting at City Hall for dinner.

The night before, I sent out a message that says to meet from 6pm onwards but no later than 7. I thought I was being very thoughtful in my flexibility on the meeting time, but apparently that ruffled some feathers early on. A hungry man is an angry man, and Matte certainly was grouchy when we met up. His first sentence to me was,

"Why did you have to say meet between 6 to 7? You could have just set a standard time."

I replied,"but there are people who has work and school, so must give them time to travel."

He retorted,"Yeah, but I pity those who actually come on time at 6", in an obvious reference to himself. So to prevent him from becoming like the Chelsea and France footballer Nicolas Anelka, famously known as Le Sulk, I quickly ushered him towards the counter to get his dinner served. Suddenly the world seemed such a brighter place.

By seven, everyone who was supposed to be there was there. We tucked in to our food and had a great time chatting away. Close to the end of dinner, Timo and CY, after slipping off rather unnoticed, emerged with a birthday cake from Canele. The group then burst into an embarassing and rowdy rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.

Having had our fill, we proceeded to TCC at CityLink for drinks. We chatted even more about all things under the sun, and only left at close to 11pm.

Well, as I had said, my birthday is just an excuse to ask everyone out for a get together. The whole point was not to celebrate my 23rd coming of age, but rather, more of a water point in our marathon called the race of life. I thoroughly enjoyed myself tonight with the friends who know me best and with whom I had the fondest memories. Thank you Matt, Elvin, Wendy, Huiying, Timo, Samski, Eve, Tiang, Nic, Yu Xian, Siew May for providing yet another enjoyable evening.

Also, I dunno if she is old enough to use Nic's MacBook, but to the adorable Naomi, thank you for your birthday card. Even though you fell asleep writing it, seeing the words 'Happy Birthday Kor Kor Bryan' just floored me. I will drop by to play Raving Rabbits with you real soon. :p

Another piece of good news reached me when I got home which made the day even sweeter...

"Dear Mr Zheng Yuan Bryan Koh,

Thank you for your application to the LSE Summer School 2009. I am very happy to write to you to inform you that you have been accepted onto the following course(s):

AF330 Alternative Investments

Due to technical difficulties with our database, we are not yet able to send out your formal offer letter. We hope to have the problems fixed by next week, and we will email you again to confirm your offer, and to let you know that your offer letter is on its way.

In the meantime, congratulations once again, and we welcome you to explore the Summer School on our Facebook group.

Kind regards,

Simon Briercliffe

LSE Summer School Office"

I am going to Londontown! Now my school has posted a message to say that there will be 12 scholarships up for grabs to go to six chosen institutions for summer school, and LSE is one of them. Even though my mum has very kindly agreed to sponsor my trip, it would really be a huge financial relief to get the S$4000 grant to cover the school fees and accommodation.

Matt would be there by the time I land in Heathrow, as will my cousin Vanessa, who is studying at Goldsmiths, University of London. It may be many months away still, and I have to tackle my prelims and UOL exams in May, but that has not stopped me from doing some preliminary planning on my itinerary.

I have been giving a lot of thought in the past one month or two, on whether it would be wise to hang on to my part-time bank job. On one hand, the exposure and remuneration I receive is very useful and handy, but on the other my first priority should be my studies.

Since secondary school to poly, my results has been straight Bs. Given the amount of effort I put in, I ought to give myself a pat on the shoulder. But I know I can do much more than B, and as much as grades are important, the process of learning and acquiring of new knowledge is what I learned to appreciate.

My annual leave allows me to absent myself from work for the duration of my exams, but leave me with no time off to prepare adequately. I am thus faced with a very difficult decision to make, one that I have already decided internally but find very hard to put into action. The loss of financial independence and reverting back to state welfare aid a.k.a my mother's son has caused me sleepless nights. At 23, I do not expect to be an additional strain of financial resources, especially in light of the current economic situation, but I am just a student. What to do?

To comfort myself, my friends in NUS, NTU and SMU who are 25 are also surviving on allowances from mummy and daddy! Ha! That really reduced the frown lines.

I am looking forward to what the coming months will bring, and I relish the prospects of challenging myself academically for the first time proper in 3 years. Following the strict regime of revision and running seems a tall task right now, and thus I shall encourage myself by posting the outcomes weekly on this space as a reminder of the promises to myself and as a reflection.

Fingers crossed, impossible is nothing.

Today was a blast! =)

M.I.A.

2009-01-04T21:46:00.011+08:00

Ignore the Jan 4 posting date (it's actually Feb 4). This is what I have been up to...

Running a vertical marathon....

and winning it.

K-boxing...

Finally playing the luge...

Partying...

and more partying...

Reunion with the wonderful poly friends...

Christmas BBQ at my place...

Commandos regroup!

Bumping into the RSM while chilling at a nice beach resort...

Flying kite at ECP...

Even tried wakeboarding!!

I had a wonderful end year holiday!

:)

Soaking It Up Like Spongebob

2008-11-12T02:53:00.003+08:00

I am currently back in the training room for bank products, loans & investments training for the past week and due to finish by next week. I had to sacrifice some school lectures for this, but I would say it has been worth it. Gaining real practical knowledge applicable to the industry definitely beats theory and empirical study.

Bank products turn out to be a totally different ball game from credit cards, it is so much more interesting to see how financial instituitions make money. Small things like earning the spread on FX differentials, sales charges for brokerage contracts, even time deposits - there is just so much to learn and it makes my brain work overdrive thinking how to make these things work for me in the future.

Today the trainer released the results of our first test which we took last week, and which had a passing requirement of 80%, and I topped the class! Haha, not only that, I was the only one who passed. Not bad for the only part-time staff in class. :p I went to my direct supervisor's desk after lunch and after getting an earful from her for sending out an email to the whole department to look out for my missing access pass (which I sheepishly told her I eventually found it in my wallet), I told her the test results and she was absolutely thrilled.

My army buddies who are working and studying with me asked me why I skipped school for work. The answer is very simple, textbooks can give you knowledge and understanding - I definitely feel that me studying banking and finance played a very crucial role in passing my test - but I study what I study because I want to work in a bank after graduation and since an opportunity presented itself for me to gain real life, day to day knowledge, why should I not go for it? Besides, I am being paid to learn, and it is not often that you go to work looking forward to what new things you can learn.

Banks may not be the best place to work right now, but economic cycles rise and fall, and it will definitely rise again. No worries on that front, but having said that, I must not neglect my studies. After all, I am still but a student working part-time. :)

I Believe I Can Fly, I Believe I Can Touch The Sky

2008-10-09T01:50:00.005+08:00

Qantas is probably going to see more empty planes after that incident they just had. Newspaper reports said that the plane suddenly descended rapidly for 10-12 seconds and passengers and crew not restrained by their seat belts had been flung towards the ceiling along with all sorts of nonsense like serving trolleys, glass bottles and the like.

Crazy stuff. And talking about crazy plane rides, here are some pictures that evoke memories of events that I had just recently laid to rest but keeps refreshing itself in my mind. When I ORDed, Melvyn asked me if I missed army life. My answer then was a direct "Hell no!", but now, maybe I do, just a teeny weeny bit.

The view aboard a chopper and the deafening sounds of its rotary blades beats having high tea at Swissotel the Stamford

Not even economy class - no Singapore Girl to ask us,"Coffee, tea, or me?"

The events that took place after the jump door opened were a blur...Next thing I knew I was floating above a plantation of trees, and had to scream for help before a fellow trooper used a parang and hacked down 3 trees to free me.

Airborne!

(Photos courtesy of my mate WQ Song. Reproduced without permission :p)

You Are What You Eat Say

2008-09-13T02:12:00.008+08:00

It is apparent you can't have much of a public opinion these days, not if people perceive what you say as a slight or dig. It is okay to be self-depreciating (see July 4 entry), but it is not okay to subject others to the same standards. I probably wasn't sensitive enough, and cannot expect everyone to take everything with a pinch of salt. For my insensitivity, I truly apologize. No more talking about school, plans, fantasies, dreams, aspirations and goals from now on. This is going to be a football blog.

After work just now, I followed JJ down to the open courtyard between Millenia Walk and Millenia Tower for his smoke break. We were sitting there chatting when two girls in race queen attire with a big 'Tiger Beer' logo across approached us. They tried, in their most 'diao' voice possible, to convince both of us to participate in Tiger Foosball Challenge next week at Harry's Bars around town next Friday to Sunday.

I asked one girl, how many people do they need to form a team, but she probably heard me wrongly and said she needed to sign up 128 people. Okay, whatever, so we just filled in the form and with JJ's ripping muscles, very much similar to Rafael Nadal's, I think we stand a very good chance to win. One swift turn from JJ and the ball could be sent hurtling across the foosball table and into the goal.

Cheer us on next Friday at Harry's Millenia Walk! We haven't decided on a team name yet, but as the tournament is held in the evening while we are probably still at work, and if our bosses can kindly let us go, we would give them free naming rights and would proudly compete as Team CitiPhone haha.

Can muscles rule the foosball field???

Driving In The Fast Lane

2008-09-09T01:53:00.009+08:00

So I've passed my bridging course at the second attempt. Managed a respectable result from an intensive yet sometimes frustratingly slow two weeks of revision. I burned all of this year's annual leave to prepare for the exams and though thoughts of flying off to some cool breezy beach in a foreign land where I can bake in the sun and frolic in the cool clear waters the whole day have all but disappeared, overall I am satisfied.

Ever since I went back to work after my exams, life has been boringly routine. My piggy bank has not recovered from the humongous damage caused by my major purchase of the year: the Apple iPhone. After lessing of student discount, I fished out $898 to re-contract with SingTel for another two years and got a 16GB iPhone after queueing for 5 hours on launch day.

That will probably one of the most disastrous decisions I have made, the waiting I mean. Against better judgement, I concurred that, as SingTel put it, only those with appointments would be allowed to collect their iPhones. What I did not bet against was, 10,000 other people had appointments too! Sleek marketing move there by SingTel huh. Create a human chain that snaked round ComCentre and spilled onto Killiney Road.

I went there at 11.30pm 21 Aug and emerged from the cube-like structure specially built for the launch of the iPhone at 4.30am, exhausted, dehydrated, and wallet substantially lighter. Was the time spent queuing worth it? Definitely not. Was the $898 price tag justified? Well, maybe, if I was earning $8980 per month then it would be just a ripple in the pond. In this case, it caused a tsunami.

These past few months working and studying have opened my eyes to a whole new world. I have the utmost respect for people who juggle full-time jobs and study at night. Throw in a girlfriend or boyfriend, and it would be seemingly impossible for anyone to have a life. Thus, I am quite happy that I am a part-time office worker and full-time student, though I still wish that my working hours are reduced further. I am grateful that I have my friends with me in the office everyday so going to work isn't such a pain.

My stamina have decreased dramatically, as seen in yesterday's futsal game. In the first hour, I was all over the pitch, putting the ball in the back of the net 7 times. But the second half against a different team made me feel like a pedestrian. I couldn't run, couldn't challenge the second balls, and scored a very, very lucky goal. My team was dismantled mercilessly by what I feel, was a team that we could easily beat on our day.

It correctly proved the theory that has been in my head for the past month - that Samski is without a doubt the most important man in our team. Two matches ago, he did not turn up for the game. Despite our best efforts, we lost every single match even though we had the tenacious Eugene, the class of Timmy, the predatory instinct of Elvin, the trickery of Ian, and the safe pair of hands of, well, Ah Son.

I still find it hard to believe that with a team that has played together for so many years, we were easily beaten by soft goals from veterans who would look as at ease on a couch watching tv. The following week, Samski re-joined and we went on to terrorise everyone. Yesterday, we had no one marshalling the defence, no one to clean up and stop the opposing team's movement. We managed to string together a few good attacking plays but I just didn't have it in my legs for box to box play yesterday. I am still aching.

There were a few moments worthy of mention though. First of all, is of course Elvin's marvelous solo goal. He won the ball through a tackle, went on a mazy run, and beaten every man to slot the ball through the legs of the keeper into the net. And I was on the opposing team. Fantastic stuff. The second one to me was a total fluke. It seemed to me that Elvin fumbled the ball while attempting to get past Roland, but somehow it became a feint that only Ronadinho seemed to be able to pull off, played a through pass to Timothy and I can't remember what happened after that, only that the two of them went running off to some corner shouting and laughing merrily.

Call me a football fanatic, but it is precisely because of these moments, the moments where I get to see my grown-up friends laughing unreservedly with the widest grins, the camaraderie experienced after pulling off a good team effort to score a goal, and the look on my girlfriend's face when told that she would be in the car with my three friends whom I was giving a lift, and who, like me, smelt like we just took a bath in the sewage after the game, that makes me look forward to soccer with my mates every week. :p

It's past my bedtime, and I am pretty certain I will end up in the back of a cab to school tomorrow.

Good night :)

2008-08-20T22:50:00.003+08:00

I have reserved mine, and come tomorrow night, I will be one of the first in Singapore to collect my iPhone 3G from ComCentre at the stroke of midnight. I would be more than glad to have some company! At the same time, I am selling my iPod Classic 80GB for $300. Please let me know if you're interested. Can't wait! :p

2008-08-13T01:19:00.002+08:00

Bridging Exams... Again.

2008-08-11T16:29:00.002+08:00

I have been on leave from work since last Tuesday to study for my bridging course in maths and econs exams that is on wed and fri respectively. Progress has been very very slow but at least I managed to cover everything. Now is just to revise all over again and hopefully, I will be able to do well enough to attain a B and redeem my Xbox :p. The first time round, I really did not prepare until the day before the exam, and thus me failing was not so much a big surprise.

This time, I will get Timothy to check my results for me once again haha. He was so straightforward about it that time, just sending me and sms tt said,"Yo dude, you failed both man." No words of comfort, nothing. So this time, I really hope he will be a bearer of good news, but I also know it all depends on me.

I attended classes proper last friday. Let's just say being a student once again is nice, and I can't wait for bridging course exams to be over so I can study my main subjects. Also, I spoke to my mum about me going London next year to study on campus at LSE for a short period of time and so far she has hinted that she may well just allow it. I did the calculations and it will cost me something like 6000 plus sing dollars? Goodness, it's all about money these days.

Talking about money, I bought my first unit trust near the end of last month with JJ. Of course with the small amount that we put in, we cannot be expecting high yields, but it's more for long-term capital appreciation and hopefully we made a correct purchase and if the fund continues to perform well, maybe we can inject more capital.

I have also opened a stock brokerage account with Citibank to trade in the Singapore & US markets. I did some homework last week and was mildly surprised that CTB offers the lowest commission fees amongst the banks in Singapore. From time to time, I do speak to my peers about investing their money, but so far, most of them except my commando friends has been less receptive to the idea.

Putting your money in the bank and not doing anything about it is just about the worst thing someone can do. With inflation at a high, everyone is becoming poorer from their inaction. We work hard and spend most of the week in the office slogging just to earn that little paycheck and after lessing off CPF, there really isn't much to play around with.

People always have the misconception that investing involves high risk. Well, driving without a licence is high risk - the risk comes from not knowing what you are doing. If you bother to educate yourself or learn more, and taking small baby steps to test water, after a while you will become better at what you are doing.

Do not be fooled by the interest rate the bank pays for savings account. It is currently around 0.25% across the board. Say you have $10,000 in your account, that will give you a return of $25 at the end of the year. Inflation currently is around 8%, so your $10,000 is probably only worth $9200 now. Lessing off the interest you earned, you would have become $775 poorer by doing nothing.

Inflation is a very real problem, and as you get older, there will be more bills to pay, more things to worry about. Maybe I think too far ahead, according to Matthew when I met him for breakfast last Tuesday, but if you do not make plans, then you would be struggling to survive. And if you are struggling to survive, how then can you go to the next level and help others in need?

Those who have taken a plane ride before would know that in emergencies, when the oxygen masks come down, you are instructed to wear your own mask first before you help your child or other people. It's the same analogy that applies.

That said, I just want to do well for my bridging course exams again so Nicole won't have the chance to have another go at me saying,"Still can say passing mark is only 34" haha. Yeah, I too find it hard to believe till today, that I managed to fail two exams that has such low passing marks. And it cost me time, it cost me my full time position at Citibank, and it cost me another $720, before GST.

Okay, time to go back to differentiation, integration, matrices etc etc and all that nonsense with numbers. I know, there are secondary school kids who will say this is a piece of cake, but I really really hate math. HATE it, so please don't laugh at me and show some love instead.

How Now Brown Cow

2008-07-16T22:03:00.003+08:00

The most bullshit phrase in the world: "Your call is important to us".

Because of this phrase, I have been on the receiving end of countless angry customers who, before launching into a scathing verbal tirade, would apologise to me for being the unlucky officer who picked up their call. They almost always follow the same script," I'm sorry that you're the officer who answer my call ah, but really you know, the service is getting from bad to worse. I've been waiting for the past half an hour just to speak to you".

Well, I can't blame them really for feeling so pissed off. If it was me, I also wouldn't want to be wasting my airtime listening to music which is interrupted every few seconds by that bullshit phrase. Over the weekend, I called various banks to set up or reset my internet banking facilities, and ALL of them answered my call within the industrial benchmark of 8 seconds. Impressive.

Not only did they answer first, the service provided was also top-notch, which makes me feel good after hanging up the phone. After all, it's my money that's in the bank. After I eventually graduate, I will be facing the tough choice of choosing which great financial institution to join. Of course, to be able to choose, I must firstly have the bargaining power in the form of at least a second-upper honours. Looking at the rate I am doing my revision for my 2nd attempt at bridging course, I would have to say I would be lucky enough to get away with a pass degree.

But working in a bank is not the only thing I wanna do. I have narrow my career options to these other two as well - being a great way to fly, or being a man in blue. After deciding not to pursue a career with the Air Force, my dream of being a pilot remains unfulfilled and unrealized. I dunno if it's every man's dream to fly, but it certainly is mine. And after my unforgettable experiences working with planes and choppers during my national service, more than ever I want to be a pilot.

My buddy Jasper, who is currently a flight attendant with SQ, told me that the dropout rate for cadet pilots is very high, and given the long training frame - 2 and a half years - earning a pittance of a salary, it would be a very risky decision career-wise. It's almost like once you are in, you better stay in or you-re f****** if you dropped out. You have an unemployable skill that the market does not require. And in the end, you may end up piloting something with four wheels and a meter instead.

The other option, to be a man in blue, has always been something I have wanted to do since I was a teenager. That was the reason I joined NPCC. Policing work has always thrilled me, and the thought of being involved in investigations and operations constantly resides in my mind. If I were ever to join, it would definitely not be the STAR Team. I do not need two red berets, one is enough to last me a lifetime. And the training is so shag and physically demanding, I would probably lose mobility in my legs by age 40.

I want to be a police detective, the type that does not wear uniforms and yet plays an important role in maintaining law and order. The only stumbling blocks: People laugh in my face when I tell them I want to join the Police Force. They say that there is no career there, no money etc... Being a uniformed civil servant means my career path would be very much fixed, with not much options for flexibility.

Thus, I am in a dilemma. The decision that I would make would be want that will affect the rest of my life until I finally lay to rest. So how? Better pass my bridging course first then think, fail again then no so how to think of.

"Dude, You Got F For Both"

2008-07-04T13:34:00.009+08:00

It has been a very exhausting few weeks. First and foremost, my six-month plan till December was abruptly and severely disrupted with the release of my bridging courses' results. To the shock and horror of my friends and classmates, I did not make it. Slow and steady progress in the transition back to student life gave way to overconfidence and complacency. Yeah, I can argue my case that I was very sick and unfit to take the examinations on both days, but since the school is inflexible, I had no choice. But then again, I will have to admit that I have not had the best of preparations.

Anyway, that is a painful lesson learned. The disappointment on my mother's face when I broke the news just made a bad day worse. And the killer blow came when my sis came home from school and when my mother told her, she just reached out a consoling hand and told me it was okay. My kid sister, 5 years younger than me, showing such empathy and maturity. At that point in time, I felt like I let the whole world down.

Now, two weeks on, thinking about it, it was just but an examination. There are bigger things in life that have yet to happen, and the disappointments are bound to be greater than a bridging course examination. So, I need to retake my bridging course. Again. And that means my whole schedule had just been derailed.

I had a fulltime job with Citibank which pays well and which I was just getting into the hang of things, and now because I need to attend classes in the morning, I must give it up. I thought long and hard about it, and even after my mum reluctantly agreed to resume my allowance, I still thought I need to work. I'm 22 years old and my mum is already sponsoring my university studies, what more could I ask?

I went to see HR immediately and explained my situation to my generalist. She told me she will find some alternative work arrangements for me and told me to inform my supervisor. The next day, I was hauled up to the unit manager's office. I thought I was going to get the pink slip. But instead, after giving me an earful for failing my exams and for telling her I wasn't a student at the point of the interview, she offered to convert my contract to a part-time position.

So I get to attend my classes in the morning and go to work in the afternoon. This arrangement has been working out well so far, just that I am so drained of energy every evening that I cannot bring myself to do anything other than sleep. I have lost the 4kg that I painstakingly gained over the past two months and am back to my skeletal self. But the company holiday to Bintan in two weekends' time is a very good source of motivation to buff myself up and gorge on my protein powder.

Source: MINDEF News
BEST COMBAT UNIT: 1st COMMANDO BATTALION

For the fifth consecutive time, 1st Commando Battalion has clinched the Best Combat Unit award. Since the inauguration of the SAF's Best Unit Competition, the elite battalion has garnered this honour for an unprecedented 22 times.

The Commandos are trained to conduct specialised operations and play crucial roles in protecting Singapore's sovereignty. The Commandos are well trained to strike behind enemy lines using airborne landings, helicopter assaults and sea landings. They are also experts in infiltration and reconnaissance operations.

1st Commando Battalion mainly constitutes full-time National Servicemen (NSF). Every NSFCommando is meticulously selected and specially trained to be experts in their vocational domain. The Commandos undergo one of the toughest training regimes in the SAF, and are considered the SAF's elite force. The true strength of these Commandos lies in their dedication, esprit-de-corps, fierce fighting spirit and strong determination to strive for excellence. The NSF Commandos are a tightly knitted community who are known for their camaraderie and intense commitment to their unit. Highly motivated and possessing a strong sense of identity and pride, the unit has proven their mettle once again by coming out tops in the competition, attesting to their high operational readiness and administrative efficiency.

Fighting Is For Little Kids

2008-06-16T00:46:00.008+08:00

I find it incredulous that someone could make such groundless accusations based on hearsay when his ass was nowhere to be seen at ground zero. I can't even be bothered to address this formally, because doing so would dignify that little boy's antics and doing so would also mean condoning his actions as justified and acceptable. Much has been said, I don't need to elaborate. Instead of focusing on the few negatives, I'd rather focus on the positives.

Firstly, our months of practice, however crappy they may be, paid due dividends when crunch time came. Team sports require players to have a good understanding with their team-mates, and the only way to do it is to play together as often as possible. Our play has matured over time and instead of being a direct play team aka long-ball, we settled onto the more slow and patient build-up of a passing game.

This is my personal take on our team's overall play on matchday:

Ah Son: Playing with a recently recovered broken foot, Son was slow to warm up to the match, letting in lots of goals early on in the practice match. But he soon found his rhythm and got into the game. Made a few spectacular and crucial saves throughout the game and a few of his throws were absolutely key.

Eugene: To me, Eugene is the engine room of the team. He never stops running, always press forward when we are attacking and falls back quickly to help out in defence. He is also not afraid to belt out shots and does a very good job in laying on second balls for his team-mates. Outstanding performance, especially in front of his girlfriend haha.

Samski: The attacking centre-back. The most vocal player on the pitch uses his vision and experience to instruct his team and ensures the shape is always maintained. I am absolutely convinced that Ah Son was very very glad to have Samski marshalling the defence in front of him. Made lots of good tackles to break up the opposition's play and also participated in some attacking movements. Definitely the first name I'd put in any starting lineup if I ever was coach.

Timo: Our very own Stevie G marks his return to regular football with an outstanding scorcher of a goal. Scoring from the halfway line, he unleashed a powerful screamer that found the top corner of the net. A torn anterior cruciate ligament kept Timo out of action for close to 2 years, but besides losing a yard of pace at most, Timo is in top form. Pure class.

Elf: I dunno why but our captain here always reminds me of Raul when he plays. He plays as the fox in the hole, the target man, the lone striker. He was involved in almost all of our team's attacking plays and grabbed himself a magnificent goal as well, albeit in the practice match. His presence upfront reassures his teammates that there is always someone to seize an opportunity to strike.

Sendoh: Mr Funnyman's athleticism, speed and positioning greatly disrupted the opposition's play and despite being one of the smaller players, he used it to his advantage and waltzed past opponents. His clever running and passes were breathtaking. Great player to watch, not to mention entertaining with his off-the-ball antics.

Air Force One: A new, last minute addition, AFO did not disappoint. He ran, he supported his teammates, he attempted shots on goals, he defended. All without much effort to say the least. I don't know much about him, but his contributions to the team on matchday is greatly appreciated and I am hopeful he will become a regular in our weekly sunday kickabouts. Forget cable-skiing, this is much more fun. :p

Uncle ES: He may have been an unused sub for the actual match, but taking part in the teamtalk and willing to let the youngsters take the lead was a very very gracious gesture on his part. His unwavering support for the team through providing quality opposition in our warm up matches for months has definitely made all of us better players. When others his age would be playing golf and doing less strenuous activities, he has no problem lacing up his boots, ready to face whatever the opposition can conjure up. One word - RESPECT.

The Kid: Many years ago, this was me. A scrawny kid who had his own ideas on how a game of soccer should be played, and what his role in the team should be. Not anymore. The dynamic direct running, the fanciful tricks and flamboyant attempts to score goals in the most bizarre of ways has been passed on to Mr Chelsea. He is a natural with a football, possesses great pace, trickery and most important of all, he is fearless. Unafraid to try new things, unafraid to provide alternative options en route to goal. He had the last say on matchday. The winning kick came from The Kid. My man-of-the-match, even though all of us almost killed him when he tried to dribble the ball into the net early on during practice. Our star player for the future. Daryl Ho Hu?

Post script: File picture from 2005. Our sole foreign talent, Yandao has since retired after undergoing surgery twice due to football. He can be found enjoying the sun, the sand and the sea every sunday on a bicycle with some beautiful ladies in tow. Also, our resident Eric Clapton has lost interest in sweating to play football; he now prefers Winning Eleven in the comfort of an air-con room. The core nucleus of the team remains unchanged. The current captain is No. 7, deputized by No. 11 & No. 16.

Welcome To The Black ORD Parade

2008-05-20T12:33:00.014+08:00

It's been a while since I've updated my blog. Guess I'm enjoying life as a civilian again too much that I can't be bothered talking about it. Why talk about it when I'm living it? It's just so great to be out of the army. Finally. And not one day pass when I do not thank myself for being determined enough to pass NAPFA in my final semester in poly. I only had to serve 1 yr 10 months of NS. Yes, I can already hear the moans and displeasure among those who had to serve 2 and a half years, but that's just life la. JTB.

My ORD parade was held on 2 May in the Hendon parade square. The ORD Companies opted for a simple ceremony, after much debate on whether we wanted a full-fledged bombastic one, but if we wanted that, our CO insists that all the stunts be done by us and not the juniors. A bit crazy la, make us conduct a raid, do rappelling, carry all the support weapons (OMG just thinking of that already makes me shag), so of course we opted for the simple ceremony.

After the parade, there was a mad rush to return our rifles and book out. In the madness I think I dropped my camp pass. I thought it was a small matter and I would find it. But no, on my actual ORD day, the chief clerk wanted my camp pass in exchange for my pink i/c. To my horror, I couldn't find it anywhere, and worse still, I did not report the loss within 24 hours. I was told to go to the Security Branch and the Head, known as S2, called Manpower Branch aka S1 Br and told him to extend my ORD until I serve the mandatory 3 extra duties. 3 Extra! On my ORD Day! Wah lau eh!

I just stared blankly at him as he issued out my punishment. I was too stunned to react to whatever else he said thereafter. I then quickly made a phone call back home and told my maid to flip my room upside down and find this ID card with Hendon on it. I also went back to my bunk and flip it inside out but I couldn't find anything.

Just as I went back to the S2 Br and was about to accept my fate, my maid called and said she found it. Hallelujah! I almost jumped for joy and punched the air in front of a bemused S2. After collecting my pink i/c finally, I think I was the very last person to do so, I went back to my bunk to pack up my things and prepared to walk out of Hendon Camp one last time.

It was hard saying goodbye to those PTP batch who have 1 more month to serve. But then, who ask them don't take NAPFA. Lazy la, orbi good. Post-NS life has not been any easier. In fact, now I need to motivate myself everyday. I do not have anyone to tell me what time to wake up, what time to eat, what time to sleep. On top of that, I'm attending two bridging courses to gain exemptions for my degree course. So far so good, but as the exam dates draw closer, I become more jittery because I've not been studying much!

In between attending classes, applying for jobs, going for interviews and managing my beloved Liverpool Football Club in FM 2008, I found time to squeeze in a short overnight resort stay with Samski and Ah Son in Nirwana Gardens, Bintan. It was my first time in Indonesia and although the resort was very much like any other chalet, it was a good time of chilling and relaxing and watching movies on Sam's MacBook. Jason brought his monster of a hard drive (500GB! wth do u put inside??) and in between sipping champagne and playing cards, we watched Clash of the Choirs and some other nonsense but entertaining shows.

The funny highlight of the trip for me was how we had to be tactical when going for breakfast. You see, breakfast was complimentary for 2, but there was 3 of us. So... I won't say the exact method la, but all I can say is, looking like you belong there is a very good ploy. :) Alas, I didn't get the tan that I wanted, but I guess most people would say I'm already black enough. I don't think so.

Soccer has been on a regular fortnightly basis. Of course if possible I would wish to be running around and kicking a ball 2 to 3 times a week, but not everyone is unemployed like me. I think after playing together for so long, we can already see the basic understanding within the team is more or less there. Partnering with Ian is fun, not only because of the way he constantly frustrates his own team-mates with his direct running, but he is the most unselfish striker I've ever played with.

Each time he is in an ideal position to strike, he insteads lay it off to me or someone else to finish the job. But having said that, when he does feel like scoring, he does it quite spectacularly. Maybe the rest won't agree, but I like his style of play, maybe because it is so similar to mine! Haha.

My financial reserves are almost depleted and as much as I hate juggling work and studies, I have to do so because I no longer have an allowance from my parents. My mum just gave me a lump sum for my university education and that's about it. Of course it is very tempting to spend the money on nonsensical stuff like an Xbox, a new car, a holiday with my beloved, but that would be very foolish.

I've accepted a one-year contract position with Citibank along with my army pal JJ. Well at least we are in the same predicament and I'm sure we'll work something out with regards to time management. Also, I've been keeping myself fit even after ORD. So I hope all those pre-NS boys will also do themselves a favour and pass NAPFA before enlisting! Here are some pics from the past few weeks.. :p

Against All Odds - 2nd Company!

Everybody Wants A Photo With RSM

No one could be happier :-D

Buddies

The Whole Gang Came Down

Supper Kakis Drop By After Exams

With the affable & popular ex-OC, CPT Lionel Ku a.k.a. Abang Ku

I couldn't have worked with a better boss - OC & possibly future Chief Commando CPT Iain Hoo

Yes, girlfriends are a great source of motivation

We are the Best Operational Company in the entire SAF

ORD LO!!!

R.I.P.

2008-04-20T09:06:00.002+08:00

I've been having trouble sleeping well recently. My sleep is full of dreams which I can vaguely remember when I wake up, but yet I feel so tired after that. Maybe I've been sleep-deprived for two years that now when I get to sleep 8 to 9 hours, my body just cannot accept that? Sleep is really a disease. But I think it is in my genes. Or my habits.

Even though most of my previous posts since 2002 have been deleted, I can remember what I typed in those entries, and I cringe each time I recall myself typing into this box what I did for the day, what I want to buy, what I want to do etc etc. It is just so.... I dunno. Like who the hell is interested in your boring life right, when everyone else is probably doing the same.

But blogs are interesting to read, as a whole. It helps you to understand people a little better, both on the macro and micro side of things. From reading blogs, I have learnt a few things.

First, is that people crave attention. It's the truth. It is a well-publicised fact that blogs are NOT diaries, so people who say that their blogs are 'private' are in actual fact living in denial. There is no place more public than the WWW. Everyone wants attention, but not everyone seeks it openly, and not everyone wants attention for fame or popularity. It is just a basic human need to be noticed, to be heard, to be cherished, to be respected.

Secondly, everyone of us has some creative ability. Though in primary and secondary school, I dunno about JC, we complain about having to write compositions or essays, everyone loves to write a good piece. There is like some inner author or journalist in us. It is our way of painting a picture of the world through our eyes. Everyone has their own opinion on the same topic. Of course, topics with three capital letters seem to be the most popular ones in this part of Southeast Asia. PAP, ERP, GST, CPF, HDB and of course for me, SAF.

Next, I think most people type lots of stuff only to not publish them eventually. Maybe they type posts in anger, in bitterness, and after cooling down realised that their posts are too strongly worded. Or some just type and type and in the end just lose interest in it. Just like me now. I'm suffering from the after effects of yet another night of disturbed sleep, looking at the screen with bloodshot eyes and gigantic eyebags, typing on my pretty little MacBook with fingers with overgrown nails, and suddenly I feel like crawling back in bed and staying there.

I need a good sleep. Is there something called sleep therapy? Or maybe I just need my army bunk. Maybe my room is too clean with no flies and mosquitoes flying around. But I dun think so. My bunk in camp is air-conditioned. No flies or mosquitoes. Damn, why can't I just REST IN PEACE???!!!

ORD Company, Masok Baris!

2008-03-31T13:48:00.013+08:00

I can't wait to hear this command. On 2 May, this command will be given and I will be proudly marching into the Commando parade square in my No. 1 dress, in front of my family and loved ones. Yes, the journey is coming to an end. Many people would be wondering what have I been doing these past few months since my last entry. Let me just do a quick recap.

I booked into camp on Christmas Day night because there was training the next day. Booked out 2 days later for the New Year holidays, and booked in again on New Year's Day night. Then, I was confined in camp for 1 week doing standby duty. Anything happened at key installations in Singapore, 1st Commando will move out within 2 hours.

After that, we had preparations for the upcoming ATEC, and ATEC Stage 1 itself at the end of January. February was a month of administrative work in camp, and of course there was a company off day on my birthday, so I celebrated it once again the way I did last year, with the same special person. :p then I attended a security course on installation protection for one week, and after that it was a few days of off before flying off to Thailand.

Now Thailand is one hot place. We were based in this area called Kanchanaburi, near the border with Myanmmar. The first few nights there was freezing cold, and the afternoons were unbearably hot. But then the nights became hot as well, and many people were taking up to 6 or 7 baths everyday. Bathing there, I had to use a scoop and pour water. Even most of the toilets do not have proper flushes. Must pour water into it.

But well, I have just came back from spending a month there, so the last thing I want to do is talk about Thailand. I'm on the verge of getting myself a Macbook, but every Apple retailer seems to be sold out. So I called Apple this morning and ordered one from them directly. Now I just need to print out some forms and fax it back and I'll get my new lappie in 2 days. As I type this, I'm negotiating with my mummy to sponsor part of the cost. I'm going to school starting this wednesday for 2 bridging courses in Econs and Maths. The exam's in June and if I pass it, I will go directly to Year 2. Anyway, some pictures from Thailand..

Christmas Time

2007-12-29T17:20:00.000+08:00

This year's christmas was quite normal. Maybe it's because I'm still serving my national service, so in the back of my head there's always the nagging thought of army related stuff. Can't really enjoy and immerse myself into the festive mood. But nonetheless it is still one of the high points of the year 2007, because i'm only 4 pay days away from my ord haha.

This may look like it's at some resort..

But it's actually my front porch

My mama did everything, well I help arranged the chairs :)

One of the side tables

The 'kids' table

Buffet spread waiting to be served

Putting the finishing touches to the Christmas tree..

All the presents in, ready to start our Christmas Eve party

Cousins

Shy Ethan who promptly went and hid in my room after eating

Everyone seems intriqued by the head massager

25 years old..... 20 years ago haha. Ageing gracefully

Everyone's favourite event - Opening presents time

Christmas Day Service

My favourite girl

Evelyn has been the only person who has given me a Christmas card without fail EVERY SINGLE CHRISTMAS. Whether or not we see each other frequently, chat or meet up, she has never failed to be one of my bestest friends. This year, we have probably spoken about 20 sentences between us, with her being in Aussie for studies. Last year I got 20 over cards. This year? Just 2, from her and Nicole. Know what's a great friend? I do. =)

Merry Christmas & Happy 2008! God bless!!!

Bryan Shifts Upstairs

2007-12-17T20:47:00.001+08:00

I was supposed to be back in camp last night, but because of the 'bruising' encounter with the chinese sinseh last friday, my right ankle looks like a luohan fish, and last night I visited the ang moh doctor for muscle relaxant and painkillers. Along with the weekend consultation fee was of course an MC for the following day.

Spent the day doing pretty much nothing until I decided that my room has too much junk and too little space. This began the process of shifting the entire contents of my room to the attic. My mum saw me packing my room and got the maid to help me. Managed to get most of my room less my study desk and wardrobe up through the tiny door and stairwell.

It's nice to be up here, almost like my very own studio apartment. Looking forward to having a wonderful Christmas this season. Can't be bothered to be bothered by army stuff. It's gonna be over in four months, so why worry and fret? Guard duty? Do lor, got four more months to tekan only mah, just suck it up lor. Very little or no nights off? Never mind lor, in four months every night is a nights off.

Time to go bathe, have my dinner and medicine and prepare to go to camp. Will be out on friday afternoon. :p

My mum is gonna convert my old room into a study room or guest room

The staircase leading to the attic, my new space

View from the staircase leading up

Stairway to heaven? Not quite but good enough for me :)

On the left, my den with a sofa, carpet and tv

The den, with wires and pillows everywhere

The bedroom

On The Verge

2007-11-28T21:49:00.000+08:00

Ever since returning to Hendon Camp upon the completion of my GPMG Commander Course at Pasir Laba Camp, things hasn't been as rosy. Firstly, I am on long-term medical status, which means I can't participate in most activities in camp. Secondly, the next few months is the most busy period for commandos and yet here I am doing nothing everyday.

My peers are slogging it out in the field and I am in the comfort of my bed in my air-con bunk - yes you read correctly, my commando bunk has TWO air-cons - and I am travelling weekly to Selarang Physiotheraphy Centre and Tan Tock Seng Hospital. The sucky part is of course this being a weekly affair, I am in and out of camp at certain points of the day. People see they of course buay song, they feel why they are suffering and here I am booking out.

That one I still can accept because if it was me looking on at someone else in my predicament, I would probably stir his shit as well. But now, the company HQ are having doubts about the authencity of my medical appointments and physio session. This is simply outrageous. My f***ing CSM demands to see my appointment card everytime now and just now, I buay tahan and I really gave him a piece of my mind.

Ya talking back to your sergeant major is not the best thing to do, especially when there are a lot of problems now with the guard duty roster. But being a sergeant of the company, the least he can do is trust me. No basic trust, no mutual respect. And how am I suppose to continue in this unit if my superiors doesn't have confidence in me?

I have no doubt about my ability as a soldier, and with adequate training, I can be as fit as anyone else once again. The thing is, am I still given a chance to carry on with my rehabilitation without hindrance so as to ensure a speedy and full recovery as soon as possible so I can join back and contribute?

Don't believe all that bullshit about commandos are a tightly-bounded fratenity. Balls. They are your brothers as long as you are fit and healthy. The moment you fall down, they can't wait to see the back of you. I have seen too many people already being cut and having their red berets revoked. My OC even told me he can't keep me in the company for too long if I can't contribute because I am eating into the budget.

Wtf right. Just because I can't contribute physically for the next couple of months, all my hard work for the past 1 and a half years are being threatened to be erased from the memory of Bravo Coy 07/06, 2nd Coy 07/08. Incredulous, so those boys out there who think that joining commando for ur NS is gonna be fun, think again.

For Honour & Glory? My a**.

2007-10-11T20:37:00.000+08:00

I've just booked out from camp. School of Infantry Weapons so nice, saturday public holiday and we get an off day tomorrow, friday. This is something unheard of in my own unit. Ha, I guess the instructors in the school also wants a long weekend. The best place to be as an army regular is definitely in training schools and institutes. Can go home everyday unless there's outfield of live firing.

Wondering if I should go book my physio again, but I really need to see the doc again and get him to give me a referral for MRI. My ankle is acting up again, now even walking hurts. This is becoming worrying. I just hope it's because my body is not used to going outfield again this week.

Yesterday evening in bunk my friends were having a debate on religion. I've got this friend, B, who likes this very attractive girl, let's call her S. S is a very innocent girl and a very pious and devout Christian. B likes her and wants to be with her very much. But the thing is, he is not a Christian and S told him she cannot be with a non-Christian as much as she likes him.

My friend B then sort of complained to my bunkmates about this, questioning why can't a Christian be with the person they very much like or love. I was sitting in a corner reading my newspaper when they turned to me and asked," Eh Bryan, you're a Christian right?" And that got me dragged into the whole debate.

I may not have been around church for a while but I am a Christian through and through and defending Christ in the face of persecution is something I would not think twice about. A debate about the different religions became a mini attack on my beliefs and fending off accusations and questions and statements that Christianity is very hard to comprehend spent me.

In the end, I told them nicely but firmly that they are looking at Christianity from the outside, and to truly understand how Christians can devote and sacrifice so much of themselves, they need to experience it firsthand. I also told them something that Pastor David once said a long time ago. Christians are not angels or holier than thou beings. They are in fact people who recognize that they are shit without God and thus the church is a place full of shit and shitty people.

I told my friends that being a Christian is a very difficult life to live at times and is a constant struggle, but at the end of it, all the sacrifices are worthwhile and it is with the end in mind that gives us the strength to go on.

Having said that, I recognize that right now I am unable to give up certain worldly ideals and possessions. It is a continual struggle between spirit and flesh, and I have to say honestly that the flesh currently has the upper hand. I'm not someone who believes in the Chinese idiom "the boat will straighten naturally when it reaches the bridge". Proactive action has to be taken to correct the incorrect.

It is a mighty task, but having defended my Lord yesterday, albeit a tiny debate, it reminded me once again of who I really am ultimately: an ugly, ugly person who only God finds beautiful despite all my imperfections.

And before I forget, here's a very Happy Happy Birthday to a very special friend of mine. =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE TAY:p

2007-10-07T22:05:00.001+08:00

These few months I have been looking really hard at life and so far I find myself with more questions rather than answers. Firstly, what is the real purpose of going to church? Does the act of going to church means I am a holier person than someone who does not?

Is someone who attends service faithfully every single week but spends the entire time chatting, playing, disturbing people next to them while the pastor is preaching or during altar call a better disciple of God than one who does not? Do people ask others to come just because they wanna keep an eye on them? Is that the real purpose?

So long as u see my face on saturday evening means im praying regularly, on the other 6 days of the week my life is perfect and everything is nice and dandy? I used to think that everyone is imperfect and though the way they put things across is not so nice to some, their intentions are really sincere and pure. But I have questions now.

I am not slamming anyone here. I am merely asking questions that have been burning in my heart. I have seen how selfish people really are. Yes, you can survive in this world without God, but without God, life is so much harder to live. That I can vouch for. The truth is we are called to be dependent on God, but not to the point where we cannot function as proper people with responsibilities.

When God tested Job, if Job was 100% reliant on God, he wouldnt have been able to survive, because during that time, he was on his own.

People tend to think that just because someone has not been coming to church regularly means that person has some problem or has become wayward. That is because they do not have faith in these people. They don't believe what they don't see. So because they have not been going to church, others don't believe that they're ok.

I can be a good example of that. Most of my close friends know that I'm doing fine and I'm just tired of NS, can't wait to get out. I see them every week, talk to them every other day on the phone, MSN etc etc. Hey, I just had brunch with Samski and saw Nicole, her mum and her two adorable little sisters today. Just because some people do not see me they think I got something wrong.

Some people have been on sabbatical from their service. Everyone has issues in their lives. How you deal with it is up to you, and because you know yourself best, and if you don't, God knows. It is better sometimes to take a break so that you can take a step back from what you're so engrossed in doing and look at the bigger picture.

Saying all these, I want to reaffirm my faith in God, in Christ Jesus, and I want everyone to know that I am proud to have a God who has been so faithful to me despite my insecurities, despite my questions, despite my selfishness and stubborn nature.

I will be back in church sooner rather than later, I have tasted God's goodness for the past few years and in the recent months that have gone by, I have tasted the bitterness of this temporal world. In the end, there is only one way to truly enjoy life. It is through sharing the love of Jesus with those that you love, because having experience His goodness, it is only natural that you want those you care about to experience it for themselves.

I've been burnt out, I've been shagged out, I've KOed. Recovery takes time, and I'll take as long as it needs to recover properly, I won't rush anything. And I can't do this alone. I don't need veiled criticisms that attempt to instigate me to a reaction. I need prayer, and I need love. If you can help me out with that, I would be eternally grateful.

Bryan will always be Bryan. The same Bryan that asked Jesus to come into his life one fine december noon, sitting on the steps of the church social hall 8 years ago. I know I would have grew up to be a horrible person had it not been for God who sent an angel and rescued me. I am forever indebted, and I will willingly serve my Lord with all that I am.

2007-10-07T17:08:00.000+08:00

Bryan is currently attending the 156/07 Active GPMG Commanders' Course at School of Infantry Weapons

And what a week it has been at SIW, Pasir Laba Camp. Four nights off in the week and a Friday bookout at 1800 hours. Life in the infantry seems so.... tempting. Welfare is key. The course commander is a cannot make it warrant officer, the course warrant is a very nice Malay master sergeant who seems eager to please, and the fellow trainees are all nice people, be it 2SIR, 3SIR, 6SIR, 1 Guards, 3 Guards, even Navy. Just that one irritating staff sergeant from OCS.

For Pete's sake, you are a fellow trainee just like us, not an instructor. This is not OCS, we are not officer cadet trainees, so please stop shouting at us, asking us if we're not interested. Some people just make it so easy to be public enemy no. 1. Anyway, the course itself is not anything new, given I've learned the GPMG during my leader course. But that is not to say I am a master of it. Quite far off la. I am such a slacker and I think I performed one of the worst during the technical handling test.

I'll be there until 16 Oct. It'll be back to Hendon Camp and straightaway it'll be either continuous guard duty again or standby duty, confined in camp. :( I do ask myself sometimes, besides the pride in being a commando, what else is there? Is it really worth going through so much more than my peers just for that 1 second where people go 'wah, commando sia'? The more I think of it, the more I think it ain't worth it. I am a conscript soldier, I didn't choose to be a soldier. So you can't blame me for thinking like a civilian trapped in the military. If they increase my pay by 100% then maybe I won't be complaining haha.

Anyway, ORD is coming soon la. Just 7 more months, slightly more than a semester to go thinking in school terms. This Wednesday's payday, many guys in Singapore would be smiling..

The Way I Are

2007-09-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

It has been a busy busy few weeks, and even more so this two months. I have just finished my involvement in the Army Open House. It was a fun experience, talking to the public and getting kids to sit in front with me as the vehicle commander, and the best part is my OC letting us stay out, much like reporting for work in the morning and going back after that. Think that is the way to work, everyone happy and morale high, productivity go up also.

After that, we were given off days for the weekend burnt and straightaway after my off I was attached to NCC for their senior specialist course. So so boring! Watching all these sec 3 kids marching and giving commands around the parade square the whole day. Super duper sian. Now I'm gonna go book in later. And I'll only book out on 28 Sept! Kena two consecutive weeks of standby duty. Confined to barracks, cannot nights off, cannot book out, cannot go out of 3km radius. Sian.

Yesterday night had a last min clubbing session. Melvyn Mong jio me go, so I of course brother la, go with him. Didn't regret. Bumped into my army friends there and after I left early, they went for supper together! Haha wth. And I just spent a small fortune on cooking books. After watching that rat cartoon and No Reservations, I've decided im gonna be a chef! Haha, two weeks in camp doing nothing, lots of time to read and learn.

Yesterday night I went to church and though some people came up to me and said they've not seen me in a while, I also notice I'm not the only one people are not seeing in a while. Some of my good friends are missing too. :( When I'm freer, really gotta gather them and have a good meal together. As we grow older things change. The sad reality of life.

I can't even be bothered to type coherently now. Whatever. I pierced my ear too. I don't see why not so don't even start. 8 more months to freedom.

Commandos from 2nd Coy at the AOH '07

We fight for the same country - Red & Black Berets

Better be thankful, I wore a parahute to take photo :p

2007-08-21T19:12:00.000+08:00

To all NYP MK0304 mates, the Army Open House will be held from 30 Aug to 3 Sep at SAFTI Military Institute/Pasir Laba Camp. For the first time since we enlisted, the five jokers will be together at the same place for 5 days. Do come down and visit because it would be fun.

I'll be a vehicle guide for the ride in this attraction called Missions World, where the public will sit in an army 5-ton truck and view the various army units fighting a mission. Armour tanks would be firing, combat engineers laying their bridges, guardsmen rappelling from helicopters etc.

I may not be a fan or advocate of conscription, but this army open house will showcase what the SAF is best at: deterrence. This AOH is also somewhat of an eye-opener for me too. The past year in NS has been all about whacking and whacking and whacking the enemy and then disappear. That is the bread and butter of special forces.

So it will be something new to me too to see how the various units in the army work and coordinate their plans e.g. Armour clearing the battlefield first, Artillery shelling the area, Guards securing the seized territory, Signals and Combat Service Support providing essential services... It will be interesting.

I've been given a super long weekend, lasting from last friday night till tonight. This is because of the AOH, which will burn my weekend two weeks from now. I went swimming, shopping, eating, chilling at home, watching tv.. Oh man, the life. It's drawing nearer and nearer and nearer.

I dunno which will come first, global recession or my ORD? I'm contemplating saving my money the old-fashioned way, in a piggy bank. DUn wanna risk the bank closing down on me.

2007-08-12T20:04:00.000+08:00

Combat shoot is finally over. The whole process is so long and with all the reshoots, we only reached camp around 2.30am Sat morning. Because of this combat shoot, I had to book in early on National Day, and book out on Sat morning. I don't understand why they must keep us in camp for that few hours. We aren't gonna get any proper sleep anyway.

Just let us go home after the whole thing la. So silly, let us book out at 7am when they could release us at 3.30am. But of course that is my personal opinion. Maybe there are those who would rather wait for the first bus. I am counting down the days to my ORD, and I really really can't wait. It seems so far!

Yesterday while shopping alone at CitiLink, I bumped into Fabien and Nicole. He has become very funky with long hair and muscular arms, and Nicole is simply, wow. Heh they were on their way to attend some UK talk as both of them will be going there to study in Sept.

Everyone is living interesting lives, lives that they can choose to live freely. I feel like a prisoner. I am losing my motivation. At first I told myself this is for the defence of the country. But as time goes by, it doesnt seem to be so. It seems like my 2 years in the 21 time best combat unit is just to win, to be no. 1 and to aim to get 22 times BCU. Obsessed is the word.

Oh well, another week in camp beckons.Just 30 plus more weeks to freedom. 30 plus more bookouts.

On another note, yesterday I went to Pitstop with some of the Charis Youth, or rather, TACS. My goodness I feel so old la. Hearing them complaining that the 8 bucks fee is too expensive is quite amusing. I was once like that, surviving on 20 dollars a week. Had a chat with Pastor Gideon at a coffeeshop nearby while the rest were playing.

Well, firstly I do not have any problems, so this is my personal plea to everyone to stop assuming that I am facing some crisis in my life or that I am living on my own. I am at home on Sundays and it's just that I go out and play very late on saturday nights. So whoever that I confided in stuff, please don't go around telling the whole world. You know who you people are.

Conclusion: I am very much alive and well and OKAY. Just that my time is super duper short and maybe I dont sleep at home on some bookouts but that's just because Im out watching a midnight show or soccer at my friend's place or whatever. If I weren't in the army, I would be home every single day and night.

Anyway, it's a sat bookout again this week. So much for end of trainee life and senior company soldiers. Bluff.

2007-08-05T14:44:00.001+08:00

I have been thinking more and more recently, about why my unit always does crazy stuff. They plan unarmed combat for us for four weeks, and during this time, we need to make two parachute jumps with combat equipment. On Friday, I did my second combat equipment jump and fifth parachute jump overall with the SAF. Several of my friends did not make the jump and remained in camp, citing various physical discomfort. Eventually, a few were taken to Changi General Hospital for X-rays to check for any bone fractures.

The previous day, Thursday, we had contact sparring during UC. Though the PTI said it was supposed to be light contact, it was anything but. Full blooded bouts took place, people had the wind kicked out of them, punches flew wild and free, and I took one myself full in the face. Thankfully my sparring partner wore gloves if not he would have broken my nose.

Having high risk activities back-to-back seems crazy to me. My ankle is hurting, and it is my old injury from my parachute jump in January. The jump on Friday was freaky, the wind was so strong the moment I jumped out the aircraft I was in a Superman position, body parallel to the ground. By the time I managed to gain control of my canopy, I have already fallen some 500 feet. With the ground rushing up towards me like really really fast, I panicked and fumbled with releasing my equipment.

I saw the ground coming up and I prepared for a really hard landing... Upon impact I pushed turned and rolled over and surprisingly it was a very soft landing - I landed in a pool of mud. Great. And to make a good landing great, my canopy did not collapse and caught wind. Just when I stood up I was pulled forward by the wind and got dragged about 10 metres on muddy ground. Arrgh.

But it was a good jump, a safe one so thank God for that. It's gonna be a busy few weeks, I just wish there wasnt any guard duty. What now with only five third sergeants in my company, and only three deployable as Guard Com, with the others being promoted to second sergeant, I am sure there will be many more weekends burned.

I hate guard duty!!!

When my next pay comes in this week, I am gonna do some serious shopping. First on the list is a new pair of shoes. Somehow I always wear shoes until they have holes in them. That will really top the priority list. And I'm still considering whether an iPod will be a good investment. And clothes! I've been dragged into countless Zara and Topshop outlets to become a fan of their merchandise. Pull & Bear too. :)

Now I know why girls simply love shopping. It really makes your heart smile.

The smiles would be brighter and wider on 6 May next year :)

2007-07-28T15:18:00.000+08:00

SAF Day Parade Guard-of-Honour Contingent

2007-07-15T15:34:00.001+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

I Am A Leader, Follow Me!

2007-07-14T17:53:00.000+08:00

It was yet another week of hard manual labour in camp this week. We had to clear the whole old company line of all the beds, mattresses, cupboards, fans, fridge (?!) and all sorts of junk. By the later part of the moving process, people were simply throwing cupboards down the staircase, so maybe we did the contractors a favour by partly demolishing the stairwell. That's commando nature for you - destructive.

Besides being like bangla workers after office hours, we had to go for airborne training with combat equipment. This time I am very very very sure that I will not think twice or hesitate about jumping out the aircraft. The freaking equipment and rifle is so heavy I was seriously worried that my back would just snap any moment during training. Even if I land on the tarmac again I would not complain. I would be happy just to get the bloody load off me.

This week I also met Luke and Clarence in camp. They were back for reservist training. I never knew Luke was a commando medic, and the impressive collection of cars on parked at the reservist car park could very well form a car show on its own. The Beemers, Dodge, WRXes and all that.

I had lunch with Clarence at the cookhouse yesterday and he was happily flashing his pink i/c in front of me. :-/ And he can go for lunch in t-shirt and shorts. My time will come.

And on top of my 3 x extra duties, I now have to clear all the rubbish in company line every morning and evening and wash the toilet for the whole week, myself. That is punishment for leaving camp for nights off without waiting for the DO to clear arms. My 2IC was so furious he gathered all the leaders and gave me a good dressing down.

"If you are a man, never mind I can excuse your ignorance. But you are a f***ing leader!", he screamed at me. I really thought I was never gonna book out again. Now my 2IC is a really nice guy, a captain at the age of 27 and a US Ranger. This is the first time he lost his cool ever since becoming 2IC.

After that, when everyone else went for nights off, my CSM talked to me and thereafter I went to apologise to my 2IC. He talked to me nicely and explained certain things and reminded me again that I am a leader.

So despite whatever personal problems I have, I still must act professionally and responsibly. Now I must write out and memorise the Leaders' Creed. It's tough being a sergeant, sandwiched in between the men and the officers' corps. But I will do my best to fulfil what is expected and befitting of a leader.

Leading by example, I will accompolish all my assigned tasks to the best of my ability. I am a leader by choice and by vocation. I will lead by example

Endurance will be the hallmark of my leadership. I will place my mission as paramount importance and I will not rest until I have completed my mission

Aggresively will I tackle all problems. I will never let my commanders and men down, for they rely on me to discharge my duties

Duty is my maxim. I will always be true to my responsibilities. I will never shun the hardest work nor will I avoid the dullest task. I will display the selfsame energy to all tasks at hand

Effectively will I lead my men in battle and in peace. I am responsible for their welfare and will demand for standards both in training and in combat

Resolutely will I honour the trust bestowed upon me. I will use my initiative. I will apply my dare and skill. I will not fail. I am a LEADER. FOLLOW ME!

Hurt By The Arrow

2007-07-08T19:31:00.000+08:00

Today's the last day of my week-long block leave. It has been just wonderful not wearing the no. 4 uniform or PT Kit with 'ARMY' emblazoned across your t-shirt. It is simply relaxing and happy to be out and about doing my own stuff again. I'm not saying army is bad, hey, I've got good friends who are regulars, and to a certain extent you are well taken care of inside, but I'm just not someone who is, and will probably never be used to a regimental lifestyle, being told every hour of the day what to do.

I've been very tolerant and putting up with sh*t from some people and yesterday, 7 July marks my one year in national service. I had a plan of what to do for the whole week of my block leave, but sad to say, some things didn't turn out as expected, some unexpected things happened and everything has been topsy-turvy. Suddenly I am home on a Sunday afternoon at 1.30pm, alone with no one to talk to, no one to have lunch with, just no one.

I dunno how things became like that, but it has already happened. I tried going back to my old sunday routine, playing football in the late afternoon, but so many thoughts just filled my mind that I wasn't interested in kicking any ball, though there was one bugger who was very interested at kicking my feet throughout the whole game.

I feel like I'm losing interest in everything, losing my sense of purpose and direction. What do I do? I miss you...

Hello Once Again

2007-07-03T19:44:00.000+08:00

I know some of my friends may had a little surprise when they entered my blog URL and discovered that my blog ceased to exist. Well, for those who know, I spent a lot of effort doing up my template and having to delete the whole thing was painful. Yup, but I didn't really had a choice. Please note, I said didn't really had, not don't have. I must be really careful with what I post nowadays.

The story goes like this, apparently some bugger uploaded onto Youtube my whole Red Beret presentation parade, and after tracking it down to someone's girfriend, they discovered that she had uploaded in her previous post many weapon systems that the Commandos use. They, the powers that be, then decided to search online for more such 'security breaches'.

Well, somehow, I dunno how, they found my blog and my entries and pictures of my time in a disputed island in the South China Sea that famous people such as Jolin and Jay call home was a big no-no to them. So one night in camp I was called into the OC's office and was asked if I was the one who uploaded the video. I said," No sir, I have never uploaded anything in Youtube."

He replied," Are you sure?"

In my head I was thinking, what the hell kind of question is that? Of course I'm sure of what I do. After I told him, yes sir I am very sure he said," Okay i believe you. You can go now. I then asked," Sir, what makes you think it's me?"

He answered," Nothing, just random questioning."

My goodness, I can't stand it when people bullsh*t me. 15 minutes later, I was hauled up to my CSM's office. He told me that my blog, along with the pictures I uploaded was discovered. He led me down into his car and told me to get in.

"Sir, where are we going?", I asked.

"Don't worry la, I'm not bringing you to the police station", he replied.

My CSM is really kind-hearted soul and that helped to ease my anxiety and lightened up the mood a bit. He drove us to another building within camp and I was brought into a room with several computer terminals. There the OC told me to go to my blog and remove the entries. I didnt know which entries had pictures that were deemed a 'security breach', thus I hit on the Delete Blog button.

Oh well, just too bad I guess. My entries from 2002 until now are gone, but maybe it's time for a fresh start anyway. When I came home just now, I found my diary among a pile of thrash in the porch, ready to be thrown. Throwing it away is one thing, but the person who found it surely must have read the contents. Great, more secrets exposed.

Anyway, tmr is Mambo. Anyone keen to join me, Ethan and Tim please let us know. :)